A 4th to Remember

Today is our nation's 235th birthday and, now, the day my grandmother died. I got the news this morning that she passed at 5:27 am. Needless to say, today's not been the best day for anything. I've cried so much I've given myself a headache. I haven't been eating well, or much, today. Hubby's cooking dinner now and I'm not the least bit hungry. We're still going to see the fireworks tonight if it doesn't rain.

I was full of mixed emotions this morning when I got the news because her current husband (not my grandfather) convinced her to move to Florida 3 years ago. Florida is a good 18 hour ride from where we live, which is where my grandmother was born and raised. Her husband has/had some legal issues in Maryland and, instead of taking care of them, he moved. It wasn't long after they got to Florida when she got sick.

She's been in and out of hospitals there and had several surgeries on her heart and arteries. I made the comment to her husband the last time she was hospitalized that I'd never see her alive again. How I wish I could have been wrong. Obviously, I'm sad that she's gone but I'm also very angry that she died with no family in the vicinity. No one should ever die alone. Even though her husband was with her, it's not the same as having family around.

I feel so much resentment toward her husband because, if it weren't for him, she wouldn't have moved to Florida. She would have been here, with family, who would have taken care of her the way she needed to be taken care of. There's nothing I can do about it now.

It's time for me to get moving and get myself ready for the fireworks tonight. I'm happy my grandmother is in a better place and she knew that I loved her.